


Rage

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, M/M, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-08-23
Updated: 2003-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-26 18:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12064395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian struggles with the truth behind Rage.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

**IMPORTANT NOTE:** Although this story follows the cannon, Seasons one and two, there are a few things that are out of place. 

Regarding season one: Brian attended the prom, but no bashing occurred at the time. Brian and Justin moved in together by choice.

Regarding Season two: Although Ethan does exist and Brian knows about him, for all intents and purposes of this story, Justin doesn't leave with him after/during the Rage Party. Justin's relationship with Ethan will be addressed, but only once.

Also, I know that Brian met Michael at fourteen, but in my story, they met a couple of years earlier. This story takes place shortly after the rage party. Season three is non-existent. 

**PRONUNCIATION NOTE:** A character in the story is nicknamed Pipe, but the pronunciation is more like Peepe- it’s Spanish and it’s not supposed to sound like the pipe your water goes through.

* * *

The blonde let out a loud laugh at the mention of wearing tights and masks. "No thank you. Spandex is NOT a fashionable fabric," she said to the great enjoyment of Brian Kinney, Pittsburgh advertising executive. With a bite on her sandwich, she added, "and when was the last time YOU saved the world?"

The woman in front of her flushed and shook her head. "It's not about saving the world, it's about protection."

"From what?" 

"From.people finding out about us and putting us in a cage." 

The people in the room laughed. 

"That's so Superman of you." Brian snorted, "Not that they could contain us in a steel cage." 

"Don't you get tired?" Eyebrows raised, everyone waited. "Tired of waiting for something to happen?"

"Fuck, I don't want anything to happen and I certainly don't want to run around the world saving lives." 

"Don't you worry, Bri. We'd never think of taking you away from your very important work." The blonde replied as she nudged him with her shoulder. "Well, I gotta go. As much fun as this is, there's a story waiting to be sent to the printers." 

Getting up from the place she had occupied every Saturday for the last eighteen years, she turned and exited through the fourth door from the right.

"You know, Marie, you need to stop wanting to become a superhero and get on with your life, just like the rest of us." Said Brian as he, too left his spot on the floor and exited through the fifth door from the right. 

The remaining eight people in the room looked at each other for a short while before speaking a word. "You know, they're right. We're not supposed to be superheroes, we're just supposed to stay here and wait for the apocalypse."

"And then?"

"Then we figure out what we're supposed to do." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back at the loft, Brian found his bed and stared at the ceiling. Marie. She had always wanted to go save the world. Brian figured it was a complex she had from growing up in Peaceful Small Town, France, as they called her hometown. He chuckled, realizing that he wouldn't be surprised if one day he saw her wearing a pink spandex suit and a pink mask with the flag of France painted on the side. 

He remembered being thirteen years old and walking into that room for the first time, puzzling over the reason for the mysterious note his English teacher had handed to him during class the day before. The man had spoken and it was only when the man opened the wooden door and the ten teens looked out at the mountains that he'd started to believe. "No," he reminded himself, "you didn't believe then." 

The blonde had said she wanted to become a reporter. 

" "Like Lois Lane." 

"You're closer to being Superman as it is."" He'd joked. 

Everything had been going right as planned; they lived their lives like normal people with normal lives. Well, except for the weekly escape to the circular room, a habit that had been impossible to break even after their training was over. 

He was certainly no superhero. 

Sure, if he walked past someone attacking another someone he'd do something about it, but most of the time he'd just cause the attacker to trip, giving the victim enough time to escape. It wasn't as if he jumped in the middle of the fight and kicked the attacker's ass. Most of the time, he didn't even break his stride.

And why would he? He didn't owe anything to anybody. 

Then Mikey, his trusty best friend with a fetish for superheroes, got it in his head to write up a gay comic book but not without the help of Brian's artsy companion. And not only that, but they had to base the hero on HIM. 

Rage, executive by day, defender of queers by night.

It'd only made Marie more adamant about forming some sort of Justice League. 

"Put that out or you're gonna catch on fire." 

"Mel! I didn't hear you." Brian replied as he extinguished the remains of his joint. 

"You weren't listening. 'Always be aware of your environment, children.' That's what he always said and that's what you should always do." Melanie recited as a good student, then broke out in a light laugh. 

"Fuck you..it's all Mikey's fault, you know? Going on and on about Captain Astro, and sinking into his stupid comics with Cat Woman, and Sandman and who knows who the fuck else!"

"You lost me at Captain Astro. You know I don't go much further than Superman . and there was that movie about the X-Men.but beyond that, I don't know anything about fucking comics, or superheroes." She sat down on his bed and stared at him but he didn't respond. "I just wanted to drop this off," she threw her copy of Rage-Gay Crusader on his chest. "You know, maybe Marie is right. Maybe we would make good superheroes."

"You just like the sight of me in tights." 

"I like the sight of you in anything." She confessed. "But hey, I got over THAT a long time ago."

"Guess I'll have to keep Mikey around after all." He mumbled, throwing the comic on the floor.

"Guess you will."

Brian sat up and coughed. "You don't get sick." Melanie observed. 

"WE don't get sick." He coughed again, "And I'm not saving the world, either. I have ad campaigns to run."

"And I have to write the ultimate expose, and yet I'm here, trying to figure out why you're having such a problem with a stupid comic book. I mean, fields of mind-distortion?" The blonde moved over to the kitchen, looked in the fridge, decided it didn't have what she wanted and gestured for a moment. 

Brian stared at the empty loft for a few seconds before lifting himself up from the bed and starting some coffee. Seconds later he found Melanie sitting on his sofa, an ice-cream bowl in her hands. "You know, you could at least keep some for when I come." He raised an eyebrow, "and spare me the sex comment."

"When you come you always rush back home to get yours, why should I waste my money on you?" He sighed, poured his coffee. "So, what, slow news night at the beach?"

She shook her head. "Story's coming out tomorrow. I need some rest."

"That story wear you out?"

"No, but it was more perturbing than I cared for." She turned to Brian, who'd sat down next to her and waited. He'd speak when he was ready. 

"It's too close." He spoke, this time in a language not recognized by the population of the world. "Maybe I don't have the mind control, but, fuck, Mel, I do have something."

"They would never guess it, Brian. Stop being an idiot. We've all been extremely careful about this and like we've said before, it's not like they can contain us in a steel cage. They can't contain us in anything."

"I know, but they don't need to know. I want to..."

"Live your life like you've always done." She recited, "It's not going to change because of a comic book. Fuck, if it was flying all around the world I'd maybe think about being a little concerned, but it's only in Pittsburgh. If anything, people will think you're the superhero because you're the superwhore." 

"Fuck you."

"Once again, I got over that a long time ago." She laughed; Brian got up to replenish his coffee. 

"Fucking Marie and her spandex fantasy, she's just so."

"Someone's coming." Melanie stated suddenly. 

"I don't feel anything."

"Are you sure you're not getting sick?" 

"We don't get sick, remember? 'You will never get sick'" He quoted. 

"I've gotta go, otherwise you'll have a hard time explaining why you have a hot chick, fuck, any chick, in your loft. Bye, Bri." She sing-songed before she disappeared. The loft door opened seconds later. 

"Hey Brian, who's your.friend?" Michael asked. 

"What friend?"

"I heard another voice; I swear I heard you talking to someone else."

"You're crazy, Mikey. There's no one here. Now, come on" He sneezed. "I want to get to Babylon."

"What about Justin?" Michael asked suspiciously. He'd told Brian about the affair the teen was having, but Brian didn't seem to care. 

"Justin's talking things out with a.friend." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eighteen years before

"That's the bell; you can go but don't forget to do your homework! And remember the test next Monday!" A small woman said loudly at the class of twenty-five thirteen year olds. "Brian.Brian!" A tall boy turned from the door to look at her, "I need to see you for a moment." 

The boy shrugged, "See ya later, Mikey." As he approached the teacher, Brian Kinney thought of what terrible thing he was going to be yelled at for this time. His grades were holding up, hell, more than holding up, and he hadn't played a prank on anyone for the past week, well, except for. "Ow!" He mumbled as he tripped on a chair. 

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What did you want to see me about?" Brian stood in front of the teacher's desk and played with his fingers before settling them into his pockets. 

"Oh, don't worry, Brian. You've done nothing wrong.this time." The teacher laughed, "Someone put this in my mailbox this morning, but I think it belongs to you." Brian extended his hand, took the small envelope and muttered,

"Thanks," before turning around, intent on leaving the room. It was Friday; school was over, he wanted out of there. 

"Brian, one more thing," the boy swirled around, an annoyed expression on his face. "You only have two more weeks of school, one if you don't count finals, and I know, from your grades, that you're a wonderful student. You have such a bright future ahead of you, kid, I'd hate to see you throw it away because of too many pranks or skipped days."

"Miss Jacobson, I."

"High school is not like this, Brian. They take things seriously and fast forward them to colleges. If you want that scholarship, you better make sure that your record is clean." Brian sighed, nodded his head. "You can go now, have a nice weekend."

"You too, Miss Jacobson."

Outside the building, waiting near the tree, Brian opened the envelope and took out a small card. 

"Start from home. Second left. Third right. First right. First left. Brick building. Punch in code 1310 on the security system. Top floor, room 519. Be there Saturday, six pm. Do you know how to keep a secret?" 

His brows knitted together, "what the hell?" 

"What're you readin'?" Brian jumped and stuffed the card back into his pocket. 

"Nothing. Miss Jacobson just gave me this empty envelope." 

"She's like this wicked witch. In one of my comics there was this character who."

"Mikey! Shut up. Let's go. We'll be late and your mother will kill you." Michael laughed, shook his head. 

"No, she'll kill you, remember? You're the bad influence. I'm just the poor little boy you drag along."

Saturday, 5:56 PM. 

Brian stood in front of the door. 519. He knocked but no one answered. So he waited, maybe they were in the bathroom or something. When no one came, he knocked again, this time harder. No answer. 

"Fuck!" He screamed, kicking the door and intent on leaving. 

A faint creaking sound prompted Brian to turn around. He found the door open but the room beyond was dark. His heart started to beat faster in his chest. "Don't be a fucking pussy." He scolded himself and walked inside, shutting the door behind him. 

The door made contact with the frame, and almost as soon as Brian heard the click of the lock, the room in front of him became visible. White walls, white ceiling, white floor were suddenly lit by a bright white light. Ten plush cushions sat on the floor, all of them either red or black. He noticed the room was circular, and upon turning his head left, then right, he saw nine other white doors, just like the one he'd come through, at his sides. He returned his gaze to the "front" of the room. A wooden door, clearly different from all the others, stood in front of him. A cushion, the only one with both red and black, sat in front of the door. 

Hearing another door shut, Brian turned left and saw a black boy of his age enter the room and look around with the same curious eyes as he had before. He looked at his watch, 5:57 pm. A brief, shy smile was exchanged between the two boys before two doors shut almost simultaneously. Brian turned right, two of the four doors on that side were now occupied by two blond girls, also his age. "Two and two" he thought, "hope this is not some hook-up thing." 

But he was jolted out of his thinking as another door shut, this one also to his right, and in front of it appeared yet another girl, this one smaller and with brown hair. Brian thought she looked frightened. Well, more so than he was. He checked his watch again, 5:58 pm. 

"Two more minutes," he whispered under his breath and the girl immediately to his right laughed nervously. He smiled at her, but not for too long as two doors had shut again, the one remaining at his right and another to his left. Because he was looking right already, he saw a boy with olive colored skin step out. Brian thought he was cute and let his gaze linger a little longer. Finally, he turned his head to the left, only to come face to face with yet another beautiful boy, this one immediately to his left. This time he smiled bigger, because he was getting used to the room and because the boy was undoubtedly gay. 

Still there were three more doors at his left, and he couldn't help but feel anxious at those who hadn't arrived yet. This time, he heard his watch tick as the minute hand switched from 58 to 59. One door shut, followed closely by the one next to it, followed closely by the one closest to Brian. One boy, Asian, and two girls, another Asian and.one that wasn't. 

He looked around the room once more, silently counting the seconds until his watch clicked again and it was 6 o'clock. He wondered briefly if he'd get any kind of reward for getting there first, then thanked God he'd kicked the door and not walked away. This was certainly intriguing enough to not be a complete waste of time. In front of him he could see the Asian boy and the olive-skinned one, one to either side of the wooden door. There was a considerable distance between the wooden door and the two white ones, but Brian simply shrugged. 

Click. 

Six pm. 

The wooden door opened. Out came a tall man, dressed in a black suit and a red tie. He smiled. "Hello, everyone. I'm glad to see you're all here, and on time. I was afraid that some of you wouldn't find your way in." He paused, scanned the teenagers, and gestured towards the cushions. "Please, sit." 

Brian looked to his left, then his right and saw that no one moved. "Shit." He mumbled under his breath, the girl next to him laughed again. Their eyes locked, and the pair moved towards their respective cushions, the ones that were in front of their doors, at the same time. The rest followed suit. "I recommend you remember which door you came in from, otherwise you might get lost," the man laughed and he, too, took his seat on the black and red cushion. 

"Only two of you speak English, only two of you speak Spanish. Three of you speak in dialects, all different. One of you speaks French, one Icelandic and another, finally, Korean. But then, how is it possible that all of you understand what I'm saying, when I'm only speaking one language?" Brian shrugged and could feel the others doing the same. "The language I'm speaking is understood only by twelve people in the world. You, me, and my.understudy." The man stood, opened the door behind him and the teenagers were treated to a view of a very white, very cold mountain. 

The olive-skinned boy spoke, "My father came here when he was young, brought drawings back with him. Is it a screen?" the man shook his head no, the boy gasped. 

"Go on, Fareed, you can step out into the balcony." So the boy did, and the nine others followed. 

"I can't believe it." 

"I can," said Brian, "it's just a magic trick, dry ice and good scenery." The girl besides him raised her left eyebrow at him, and the man in the black suit and the red tie smiled at him, gesturing for them to return to their seats. 

"I expected incredulity, after all, you're all thirteen and very bright. Why would you believe, Brian, that after stepping into a building in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, United States of America," all but Brian gasped at the statement. "You'd find yourself in the Himalayas?" 

"How trite, I mean, the Himalayas. If you'd taken me to a less remote, less overused location then maybe I'd believe something strange is going on, but the Himalayas?"

The man smiled, turned to the oriental girl. "Ling Mai, have you ever been to Pittsburgh?" the girl shook her head, "the United States?" she shook her head again. "Why not?"

"We don't have the money. We're okay, but don't have the money to travel that far." The man repeated the question, and most all answers were negative on both counts with the exception of the black boy, Kayode, and the second blond girl, Lara, who stated that they'd each been to Disney in Florida. Until he came to the girl nearest to Brian, 

"Melanie, have you been to Pittsburgh?" She nodded and laughed. 

"My brother goes to C-MU; I've been there a million times. Nothing special about Pittsburgh if you ask me, why do you live there?" Brian shrugged but started to understand. 

And he continued to understand for the next two hours, as the man in the black suit and the red tie told them why they were there, what they were to do, and most importantly, that starting next week their Saturday afternoons would be busy from 2 pm until after 8 pm. "Please be on time. Over the summer, when all of you are on vacation from school, only this year, I'll see you two times a week." And he'd proceeded to explain that they'd be stuck with him until they all graduated from school. 

Brian wondered briefly what his parents would think about him disappearing every weekend, but he didn't worry too much. They, he thought, probably wouldn't even notice he was gone. 

After that they'd been paired off. 

Then, they'd been allowed to leave.


	2. Rage

Leaning back against the bar, Brian replayed Melanie's words in his head, "You don't get sick"

".Are you sure you're not getting sick?"

"Someone's coming." 

Never in his life, well, since age thirteen, had Brian been surprised by the coming of someone. Sure, sometimes he pretended to get caught in the act but it was only a matter of keeping appearances. Maybe he overdid it a little bit too much, as Justin was always complaining that they never had the chance to fuck uninterrupted. Of course that wasn't entirely true; they'd had plenty of uninterrupted fucks.

He hadn't felt Melanie come into his loft, something he always did. Heck, he even felt her when she was halfway across the world or enjoying her ocean view in sunny Florida. But not this time, she'd been standing right in front of him and he hadn't felt her. Hadn't felt Michael get closer either, something was definitely wrong. 

"Bless you!" Michael said, jolting him back into reality. 

"I don't believe in blessings." He replied, downing his drink. 

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen you sick before." 

Brian turned, anger in his eyes, "Fuck you, Michael. I'm NOT sick." And with that he stormed onto the dance floor. Maybe he could sweat away whatever was bugging him. 

A pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He tensed in anger for a moment; he didn't have a problem with fucking but he always made the first move, not the other way around. But after a short glance down he recognized the hands wrapped around his waist and relaxed, almost leaned back into the embrace. 

"Wanna go home?" 

"Sure, let's go." Brian replied, taking the other man by the hand and leading him out to the Jeep. Once inside, Brian spoke,

"So, how did it go?" 

"It went. It's over." Brian raised an eyebrow. Too easy. Too simple. Too neat. "It is. You have to trust me, Brian." 

The older man sighed and leaned into the steering wheel. "I trust you."

"Good, then believe me when I say it's over." The teen pleaded. 

"I just don't believe he'd give you up just like that. No one's that stupid." 

"He didn't just give me up. He was pretty upset, but I told him, "Look, Brian's my boyfriend, partner, whatever the fuck he is, but he's something mine. Sure, he messed up, but so did I and the truth is that I love him." And then he asked if I didn't love him, so I said "Not nearly as much." And then he kept saying how you never did anything.romantic." Brian snorted. "But I told him that you were a better lay." Brian laughed. "Fuck, he really didn't have a choice Brian. When you told me, finally, that you wanted me with you even if.even if."

"The words weren't there?" Brian offered. "Justin, I can't guarantee that the words will ever BE there. You moved back in with me after prom because you wanted to, because we both wanted to, and I made it clear to you then, I'm not going to do picnics on the floor and flowers and words. It's not who I am."

"I know that. And that's what I told him. Brian, you asked me to stay."

"I didn't ask you to stay, I told you to make a choice." Brian interrupted. 

"Adding that you wanted me with you, that's asking me to stay."

"It's telling you to make a choice. What did you say it was, 'an informed decision'" Justin laughed and Brian couldn't help but smile.

"So I don't have to worry about this guy again?" Justin shook his head no, leaned in for a kiss. 

"No you don't. He's out of our lives."

"Good."

A coughing fit prevented him from taking advantage of a traffic light, as he pulled back from the would-be kiss just before their lips touched. 

"Are you okay?" Brian shook his head just as the traffic light turned to green. He drove on for a while, trying to drown his coughing out but at Justin's "maybe you should pull over for a second" he turned towards the curve and then turned the car onto parking. 

Having never been sick in his life, Brian didn't know what do to stop the coughing, the intermittent sneezing or the headache that was building slowly but steadily. He didn't know if this was what a cold felt like, or maybe the flu, or maybe even something worst. More over, he didn't know why he'd suddenly become sick after the man in the black suit and the red tie had made it very clear that they did not, in fact, get sick. Ever. 

And yet here he was, coughing up a lung in his jeep. With Justin. "You drive." He managed to get out in between breaths. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He closed his eyes and concentrated, then opened them to find himself still at the loft. What the fuck? He tried again but he remained at the loft. 

"Fuck. This." He yelled as he reached for the phone, dialed 411 and asked for the number of a newspaper in Miami. A couple of minutes later, he was connected. "I need to speak to Melanie Parker, please. It's an emergency." 

Later

"What do you mean you have a fever?!" 

"I mean that the thermometer says 102 instead of 98.6." Brian said as he plopped himself down on the couch. "I've taken all these shitty cold and flu medications but nothing's working." 

"Of course they wouldn't work." Melanie replied, shaking the thermometer in her hand and sticking back into Brian's mouth. "We're not supposed to get sick, whatever this is, and it's not.normal." 

"Ofcwose its wot womal," Brian mumbled through the thermometer in his mouth. 

"Shut up for a minute, will you?" 

"Wuck wu."

"Maybe we should get Kayode to help, he's a doctor." She took the thermometer out of his mouth and stared at the numbers. "Shit, you really do have a fever."

"That's what I said. And what's Kayode to do?" She sighed. "Don't even start with the 'we're a team' shit because we're not and I'm not fucking laying myself out there for all of them to see and fuss over." Point made, Melanie moved on. 

"What about the understudy?" 

"No."

"Brian, you couldn't even come to see me. You couldn't even leave your fucking building."

"I'm not going to see some fucking understudy he never wanted us to meet in the first place!" 

"He said he HOPED we would never HAVE to. But now we have to, and since he's dead we should go see the understudy."

"no." the quiet, whispered word was short, but final. 

"Then what would you like me to do, Brian?" 

"I don't know..bring Juan Felipe over so I can fuck him." She threw a pillow at his head. "Justin wouldn't let me fuck him last night, said he didn't want to get sick." He pouted. 

"Fine, I'll go get him but you better think of something to do. As far as I know, this has never happened before. It could be something."

"Serious? I could die? Lose all that I know? I know that, Mel. Just get fucking Juan Felipe over here, I'm horny."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Fifteen years before

Ten sixteen year olds waited impatiently in a circular room. "I can't believe he's late." 

"I'm not. People are always late for everything." 

"Ha, well, good for you Juan Felipe, but I think it's rude."

"You think everything is rude, Lara."

"Kill me if I'm proper."

"Would the two of you shut up already?!" Brian yelled. "So he doesn't like you, Lara, suck it up. He's gay, it's not anything personal." Lara blushed and looked down at the cushion between her legs. "And you" he turned to the other boy, "need to stop being such a pain in the ass.or maybe, be more of one." 

The two teenagers, already sitting next to each other, moved closer as Brian whispered, "Maybe you'd like a repeat of last week's performance."

"I'd love one of those, make that many of those." They kissed while all other eyes turned away from them. 

"Would you stop it? Please? One day he's gonna walk in and you're going to be making out and then he's going to read you the riot act." Melanie said. Brian and Juan Felipe broke the kiss and smiled at each other before sitting upright once again and moving their cushions to their original position. 

"It's not like he doesn't know." Brian replied. 

"But the temple, Brian," the voice of a man said, "is no place for your sexual escapades." 

The ten teenagers blushed. "I'm sorry that I'm late. My understudy had some questions that needed immediate attention."

"Like?" Marie asked only to receive a slight punch in her arm by the boy sitting next to her. 

"Like why you never get sick and what would happen if you do."

"And?"

"And I don't have answers for those questions, but he's working on them. Now, we shall start today by."

Later, Medellin, Colombia. 

"Oh.oh.Brian! God.Fuck me." Brian thrust harder into the other boy's ass, causing a new round of moans and groans to escape from the boy's lips. "Oh, I'm gonna cum."

"Yeah, come for me. Come for me. Now." Brian panted as he too felt the waves of his release wash over him. Juan Felipe's cum splashed onto his belly and Brian continued to thrust until he'd spilled the last of his cum.

Brian collapsed on top of the other boy, spent and sweating. He chuckled, licking a trail of sweat off of Juan Felipe's neck. "There's something about hearing you moan in that language that's so incredibly."

"Strange?" the other volunteered. 

"And yet, hot. Wonder what your parents would say if they heard you moaning in this strange language." 

"That you were killing me, probably. They'd rush inside and catch us with our pants down." 

Brian laughed and pulled out of the other boy but stayed close enough so that he could see his eyes. "Do you really think that it's safe?" 

"What's safe?" Brian asked. 

"To not use.you know."

"Condoms?" Brian laughed, because for all of Juan Felipe's expertise in bed he had a lot of trouble uttering the words condom and lube. Not that it had really been a problem for the two of them. Both HIV negative, it would stay like that forever, and with an immune system that guaranteed them safety from any type of disease, they hadn't used condoms in their experiences with each other, though Brian did use them with others. Without a condom, lube wasn't exactly required as nature provided for that. He wondered for a second if Juan Felipe had had sex with other people, and if he would care if that was so. He found that he wouldn't. 

"Yeah."

"I don't think it matters with each other.with other people though, we should. You.do, right?'

The other boy sighed, and then replied, "Yeah. But, to be honest, I've only had sex with one other person besides you." 

"Oh." 

Juan Felipe moved closer and ran a hand through Brian's hair, a soft smile spreading on his lips. Brian felt his heart catch for a moment. What was it about this guy that made him want more? Was it because they'd been friends for three years before the sex or was it..no, it couldn't be. Brian had had sex with other people, but had never felt like that before. 

After losing his virginity at fourteen, fifteen had been a highly sexually active period for him. All in all, Brian thought he'd slept with just over twenty men. Not a lot for a gay man, he thought, but a lot for any fifteen year old, gay or straight. 

And then, just a week ago, they had celebrated their birthdays at once as the ten of them had birthdays in the last two weeks of June. Juan Felipe had kissed him and it had changed everything. Or so he thought. Maybe, maybe, everything was changing. 

"Brian," Juan Felipe whispered, this time in English. It was strange how his name sounded so different in 'their' language and in English. 

"Yeah?"

"I.I know that you have sex, a lot, and I was just.wondering if this was any different?" Brian looked into the boy's deep chocolate-brown eyes. His eyes traveled to the cherry lips curled into a nervous smile as he waited for an answer. 

"Yeah, it's different." Brian replied as he moved in for a kiss. "It's different, Pipe."

"I.love you." Frozen for an instant, Brian recovered to find his brain racing for what it meant, for what it would lead them to, and puzzling over the reason why the words were spoken in English. And then, without warning, he found himself saying, 

"Te amo." 

"Never really heard you speak Spanish before." Juan Felipe laughed, this time speaking in what came most natural to them, 'their' language. 

"I thought that since you said it in English, I should say it in Spanish." Brian replied. 

"I liked it." Then he laughed. "You know, Mel is going to have your balls."

"I thought that you already did." Brian replied as he rolled the other boy back onto his back and kissed him. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian reached for the condom bowl as he balanced himself on one arm. A hand on his left arm stopped him. "What are you doing?"

"Haven't you ever heard of safe sex?" 

The other man raised an eyebrow. "Bri, I know it's been a while since we last had sex, but we're still us.still immune and I also know that you're clean." Brian shook his head. 

"I've been coughing up a lung all day, Pipe, I don't know anymore. I just want to.to be careful." He leaned down for a kiss that was commemoratory of the years they'd spent together, and the few independent fucks they'd had since their relationship had ended. 

"Okay. Use the lube then."

Later

Brian lay on his couch coughing and periodically sneezing, damming all humanity to hell for being prone to disease. Hair wet and dripping onto his white shirt, Juan Felipe walked back to the living room and sat down next to Brian. He ran a hand through the other man's hair and caressed his cheek. 

"What are you doing?" Brian asked pulling slightly away. The memories of what they'd had and what had ended were too strong for him to resist. 

It had ended some ten years ago, after their relationship had come to a fork. They either moved forward, made a commitment more serious than either of them was willing to make at twenty-one, introduced each other to their families and friends and tried to explain how they could have a relationship when they lived in two different countries, or they moved back and broke up. The latter won out, and after a couple of weeks of awkwardness all was right again in the circular room. 

Yet every time they touched, including the four times they'd had sex since then, Brian felt that familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

"I'm trying to see if you have a fever." Juan Felipe lied. At Brian's ascending eyebrow, he replied, "I just can't help it, you know? After all that we had, I just." he shook his head. "I know that you feel it, too."

"Then you also know that we can't go back, for many reasons, one of them being the fact that we live in different countries, speak different languages and lead very different lives." Brian replied, for a moment moving back within reach of the other man. 

"I know. I'm not asking for that." Brian leaned in and took the other man's lips in his, letting his mind wander to when he was 16, or that last night at 21 when they'd made love for what they both thought would be the last time. The need to cough made him pull away. 

"Brian what's going on?"

"What" cough "do you" cough "mean?" 

"You're sick. Why are you sick? You've never been.we've never been sick before." Brian snorted. 

"That's been firmly established. Now, can we move on from there?" 

"Maybe you should go see the understudy, maybe there's something in a book or something." Brian shook his head and headed towards the refrigerator. His mind was getting cloudy, the language slipping from his grasp. 

"He said he hoped we'd never have to see him. He never wanted us to see him. I don't think I can go and see him even after he wanted us not to see him." Brian mumbled, his English shocking Juan Felipe.

"Are you okay?" the other man asked. 

Brian shook his head, not understanding what the other man said. 

"Brian, are you okay?" 

He let out a small cry of disbelief. What was happening to him? Now he couldn't even understand his own language, what he always spoke to the others. With the exception of Mel, all communication among the ten was done in the language. It was easier, after all, to communicate in a language that was innate in them than to speak any other language, however fluent in it they might be. The difference with Melanie was that she spoke English as well, his and hers only other innate language. 

But now, now he couldn't understand it. He tried to reach for Melanie, tried to go to her house by the sea but found himself at a loss. Juan Felipe repeated his question one more time, causing Brian to shout "I can't understand what you're saying! Don't you get it! I can't understand you!" and with that he slumped to the floor. 

"Brian?" Juan Felipe tried again, this time in English. "Brian?" but the man only shook his head sadly, and passed out. 

Carrying him into the bedroom, Juan Felipe set Brian down on the newly made bed and returned to the kitchen to make some coffee. He needed the caffeine if he was going to figure out what was happening. 

When Melanie had burst into his office and asked him to come see Brian for a "quick mercy fuck" he'd had trouble believing her story that Brian was sick. Even harder to believe was her claim that Brian would've gone to him himself, but he'd been unable to do anything. Now he knew that Melanie had been right, but not much else. In fact, he didn't know anything else. 

The sound of the loft door opening made him turn around swiftly and he almost dropped the cup in his hand. He'd been so preoccupied with Brian's problem that he'd ignored the presence he'd felt approaching. "Who the fuck are you?" 

"I'm..uh.who are you?" 

"I live here." Oh, Juan Felipe thought, so this is the boyfriend. The only real reason why he and Brian hadn't rekindled their relationship after the Colombian had been offered a job at Carnegie-Mellon. 

"Oh"

"Are you a trick?"

"I." 

"Justin?" Brian's weak voice crossed the distance and the blond threw one last look at the man in his kitchen before sliding the door shut and racing to Brian. When the blond was out of sight, Juan Felipe returned to his coffee and then heard, "Where were you?"

"I had class remember?"

"I missed you." 

"I missed you, too. Are you feeling any better?"

"No.I."

"Go to sleep. You'll feel better tomorrow." And without much more a due, the man in the kitchen placed the cup in the sink and returned to his office. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Eight years before

Brian woke up with a start and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong, incredibly wrong. He stumbled out of bed and rubbed his still-heavy eyes and wondered, not for the first time, why he kept doing this shit. 

"Where the fuck are my jeans?!" He yelled into the empty apartment as he searched the small place for the pants he'd worn earlier until.He spotted the pants near the door and ran to get them. Once they were on, he grabbed a sweater and bounded down the stairs. He stopped a couple of steps outside the building and wondered what the hell he was doing walking. Then he closed his eyes. 

By the time he opened his eyes again, Brian was standing in front of the white door he'd seen so many times. Standing there usually brought him a sense of calm and anticipation; being there, being inside, always provided him peace and sometimes quiet. He somehow found it comforting to know that he could go there whenever he wanted to and not be judged, criticized or misunderstood. And yet, as he stood in front of that door the sinking feeling in his stomach grew. 

He checked his watch, a habit he'd picked up from their training days when all he did was struggle not to be late, or too early, for their sessions. 1:23 am. "Guess I got lucky tonight," he mumbled remembering how easy he'd picked up the trick for tonight. He'd walked into the club, spotted him and forty-five minutes later, they were fucking on his couch. 

Kicking the door open, like he always did, Brian walked into the room and shakily shut the door behind him. The darkness disappeared as the door made complete contact with its frame and Brian was able to look around. Everything looked normal. 

It was then that he spotted it. The door, the wooden door, was open. 

He was across the room and on the other side of the wooden door before he even realized that he'd moved. He looked to both sides and found them normal. Closing his eyes tightly, Brian took a deep breath and tried to concentrate. Where was the problem? What was the problem? 

His eyes flew open and Brian ran to his right and entered the main training room. Many hours had been spent here stretching and fighting, yelling and crying. The typical emptiness of the room sent a chill through Brian's spine and every hair of his body as they stood erect. He walked around one of the columns that partially obstructed his view and stopped suddenly as his eyes landed on a lump on the floor. 

"FUCK!" He yelled and ran to the man's side. "Hey, hey!" Brian turned the man with the black suit and the red tie over to find that his eyes were closed. 

Slowly, the eyes fluttered open at Brian's insistent shaking. "Brian." The man whispered. 

"Jesus, what the fuck happened?"

"I'm.I'm dying." 

"No." It came as a statement. This man didn't die. This man wasn't really human in Brian's eyes, so how could he die?

"Yes. I am. I have a." he took a deep breath. "A.heart condition." 

"No, you can't die!" 

"You'll be alright, Brian, you and the others. You have been for five years now." Brian wanted to deny it, to tell him that they weren't okay, they had never been okay. But he didn't. He didn't because it wasn't true and Brian didn't lie. All he could do was shake his head insistently. "Listen, Brian.you'll be..fine. Live your lives well. Live them completely..I don't want you to have to..see him, ever." The man chocked out. 

"Who? See who?!"

"You know who, Brian. I.I wish that you never have to see him. Never need his help, never..find yourselves in trouble.." Brian could feel a tear threatening to fall from his eyes, but he stifled a breath and wiped it away before it had the chance to make a path down his cheek. "Now, you need to.take me home." 

So Brian did, and never saw him again.


	3. Rage

A knock on the door caused Justin to turn away from Brian's side and stroll into the open area. As he pulled the door open, he spotted two blonde women and a black man. One of the blondes, he couldn't help but notice, looked very similar to Lindsay. And yet, he'd never seen any of them before. 

"Can I help you?" He asked. 

"Oh, yes." said the Lindsay look-a-like. "We're here to see Brian. We heard that he was sick." 

"Oh, come in." He said as he pulled the door completely open and stood out of the way. He'd called Brian's office earlier that day and told Cynthia Brian wouldn't be coming in so he figured these were his coworkers. He'd never thought of Brian as one to have any friendly relationships with his coworkers, much less if they were under him and since he was partner, they were certainly under him, but he had been obviously mistaken. "Can I get you anything to drink?" they all shook their heads and said a polite "no thank you." 

"Unfortunately Brian's still asleep. I've never seen him this sick before." Justin said as the group took seats in the living room. 

"Neither have we." The black man said. Justin nodded, then stopped. 

"If you don't mind my asking, how do you know Brian? He never mentioned any friends from work or.otherwise." 

Stumped, the three looked at each other and then back at Justin. Then the Lindsay look-a-like spotted something above Justin's head and stood up suddenly. "Brian!" 

Justin turned, spotted his boyfriend and went over to him. "Are you feeling any better?" Brian slowly shook his head. Well, at least he didn't lie, Justin thought. "Um, your.uh, friends came to see you."

Brian looked in the direction of the living room and nodded before turning back to Justin. "Would you mind um.getting me some lemon bars from the diner? I think that's about all I can stomach right now." The blond nodded, kissed the other man on the cheek and bounded out of the loft. 

As soon as the door shut, Brian walked over to the sofa and sat down, already exhausted. "You took a big risk coming here like that."

"We were going to tell him.something." Melanie replied. 

"Yeah, and he probably wouldn't have believed you."

"You could always tell him that we're part of your book club." She volunteered, Brian snorted. 

"I brought you this," said Kayode, the black man. "It's some herbal thing they make in China. It's cured some nasty cases of the flu and then some." The man looked down and fought to contain the laugh that was threatening to burst out, speaking to Brian in English was certainly.different. 

Brian took the bottle and stared at it. "You're supposed to drink it all. Every six hours." Kayode added as he produced three more bottles from his pocket. "I'll get you more when I can." Brian continued to stare at the bottle. "You're supposed to drink it. Now." 

With a sigh that conveyed how tortured Brian really was, he opened the bottle and drank the bitter fluid. "Utterly disgusting. People drink this shit?"

"If it's said to cure their ailments, yeah."

"And you think this will work because?" The black man raised an eyebrow. "This is not normal. It isn't just flu, I can't speak the language, can't go places, can't feel shit. What makes you think that a normal medicine will help?"

"It won't hurt to try." Kayode repeated. "People have been cured from very nasty cases because of it. I know that if I give you something else, normal medicine, it won't help." 

"You know what I think it is." Lara, the second blonde replied. Three heads turned to look at her. "I think, that it's some sort of."

"Repressed feelings?" Brian volunteered. 

"No."

"Oh." He said, "Well, that's new."

"You know, not everything in psychology comes from repressed feelings or childhood trauma."

"No, it also comes from sex." Brian quipped. "Freud always was my type of guy."

"Why am I not surprised?" Said Kayode. 

"Don't tell me you didn't like him? Penis envy is the greatest concept since."

"It's complete bullshit." Melanie interrupted. "Lara, please continue."

"Well, sometimes when couples are very close they develop a certain type of attachment. I've had clients telling me they're able to feel when a person enters the room, even if they didn't see or hear them. They can tell when they're in trouble.you know, sort of like us."

"Right."

"It's NOT clinically proven, or anything, Brian. But it does happen. With NORMAL people. You remember the CT scans and MRIs that we got and how different they were, from the active parts of the brain, to normal ones. Normal people, with normal scans, develop this sort of thing."

"And it concerns me, why?"

The blonde sighed. "When we were still training I was reading this book on stuff like that happening with us. It said that we're not only able to feel when the other person is in trouble, but that we might even be able to predict it. Only that we.well, we wouldn't know what was going to happen or anything specific, or even IF something was going to happen. It said that it manifests itself when something starts to go terribly wrong with one person, then the...uh.." she chose her words carefully because she knew how sensitive the American was on relationships and love. "Uh, the other half is probably in danger of some kind."

The loft was silent for a moment. So silent, in fact, that they could almost hear the people below them having a conversation. 

"You're saying that Brian's sick because something's going to happen to Justin?" Melanie asked. 

"It's a possibility. A physical reaction, a warning of some kind."

"It's not very scientific, Lara," said the doctor. 

"I know that, but even you have admitted that sometimes things happen that aren't perfectly explained. I'm sure you've had patients who get better without explanation." Kayode nodded. "I'm just saying that it's an option."

"But I don't even love Justin!" Brian protested and six incredulous eyes landed on him. "Fuck all of you." He paused. "So what if that's it, that something is going to happen to Justin, then what do I do?" 

Lara shrugged. "I think that you'll get better before it does. If I'm right, then it works only as a warning and it'll go away before anything happens. Then, I'd suggest not leaving the kid alone." 

"Great!" Brian started to cough. 

"It's worse than I thought." Kayode said as he moved closer to Brian and pressed his hand to his forehead. "Maybe you should take something for the fever. Just to be sure."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." Said Melanie. "Pipe came over last night, nearly freaking out because you were so sick you couldn't even speak the language. He said you passed out."

"Where the fuck is he anyways?"

"Away. I don't think Justin would be too pleased to find you cuddling with your ex." 

Right then, the door slid open and Justin came inside with a Styrofoam box, followed by a woman in a red wig and a small black-haired man. "Guess we'll have to continue this later, Brian." 

"Drink the fucking shit, okay? Six hours from now, 12 hours from now and.."

"I know." Melanie and Kayode walked out, but Brian stopped Lara before she got too far. "So you really think that's what it is?" 

"Might be," she replied with a shrug. 

"I can't have anything happen to him. I don't know what I'd do if." He trailed off. 

"It's a warning so it doesn't happen, so just make sure that you're there and nothing will happen to him." 

"What will happen to whom?" Justin asked, coming closer. 

"Nothing. See ya, Lara." The blonde girl left and Justin closed the door. Brian turned to look at the younger man and his heart lurched. What if something was really going to happen to Justin? 

It seemed like the time to be a superhero was going to come after all. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian woke up and found that his mind was a jumble of words. Everything seemed cloudy for some reason or the next, but his throat wasn't as sore as it had been before. He checked the clock next to him and found that it was late, late at night. Past curfew. 

Justin wasn't in bed. 

The improvement of his condition didn't ease his mind, either. Hastily, Lara's words repeated in his mind, Brian jumped out of bed and stumbled into the open area of the loft. Luckily Justin was sitting at his computer, drawing and apparently unharmed. 

"You should go back to bed." The blond said and Brian couldn't help but smile. Still, a little of the panic he'd felt seconds before was still in him, and he found himself asking Justin if he was okay before he even realized he'd opened his mouth. 

"Of course, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be?" 

Brian opened his mouth, but closed it just in time. "Go back to bed, I'll be there in a second. I just want to finish this." So Brian went. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next morning didn't go any better for Brian, who'd decided to venture into the office. Unfortunately for him, both Vance AND Cynthia showed strange measures of concern towards Brian, whose mood worsened each time they asked him if he was sure he was okay, if he was sure he should be working and not at home resting. Justin, of course, had tried to convince Brian to stay at home, but the executive had done it once already and wasn't about to repeat that feat. Doing so would only mean accepting defeat. 

A campaign had been screwed over by the men who'd taken over his work for the previous day. Brian found himself running, which was more like leaning, around the office trying to rescue the pieces of what had previously been a masterpiece. Or so he thought. And if Brian thought something was worth it, then it was. 

Which brought his mind straight to Justin and what Lara had told him. The truth was that Brian didn't doubt Lara's theory for second. He'd known from the first moment that she was right. Through their training years before, Brian had always focused more on the physical aspect of things. Maybe Melanie was the one who mastered their "psychic" abilities better, but he was the one who fought harder and better than the rest of them. Likewise, Lara had taken an interest in things of the psyche, as Kayode had taken a liking for the physiology and what made them physically different from the others. Juan Felipe had liked other things, as had the others. All, Brian thought, with the exception of Marie, who seemed so consumed with the Superhero cult that she hadn't taken any special interest on any of the lessons the man with the black suit and the red tie taught them. 

Granted, they'd all been taught the same lessons but Brian remembered zoning out during some of the more technical ones, while Yung Ho relished them. He remembered getting reprimanded more than once for not listening, for playing games with Melanie or, in the later years, messing around with Juan Felipe. But all of his punishments turned out to be physical, and Brian never complained if he found himself running around the place for hours at the time. 

He was jerked out of his thoughts by the sound of his name being spoken with a French accent. He turned and frowned. "What the fuck do you think you're doing coming into my office like that?" He scolded. 

But Marie merely smiled, and took the seat in front of him. She'd always been the weakest of them all, maybe her small-town upbringing hadn't provided her with enough skills to survive, all "extra" abilities excluded. Marie was simple, and her life seemed to center around becoming the real Wonder Woman, though Brian was forced to admit that she was really good at jumping. 

"I've been telling ALL of you, for how many years now? Waiting and sitting around won't do any of us any good. I mean, LOOK AT YOU!"

"Fuck you, Marie. This has nothing to do with you!" 

"Oh, of course not! All the silly French girl wants is to be a superhero!" 

"Well," Brian started, "it certainly sounds like that. It's all you ever talk about. Tights, and double identities and saving the innocent," he snorted.

"You really think that's all, isn't it?" she replied quietly. "Jesus, Brian. LOOK AT YOU! This isn't happening because you caught a virus.I'm sure that Lara explained that."

"What the fuck do you know about what Lara said?" 

"In case you've forgotten, Lara and I are partners." 

"Of course I didn't forget."

"Well, it's like I've been saying ALL these years! Sitting there and doing nothing will get us exactly that, NOTHING. So here you are, the mighty and powerful Brian Kinney, fucking sick and unable to do anything at all! And if he dies, well, that'll just teach you to listen to Me!" And without much more, she disappeared. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Michael Novotny, Brian's 'best friend' was confused. He'd spent half of his life being Brian's closest friend, or so he liked to think, and he prided himself on knowing all there was to know about the slightly younger man. Only recently he was starting to feel like he didn't know anything at all. 

It had started with Brian's sudden illness-flu, cold or whatever it was. Michael had been shocked, as had everyone else, including Brian, but he figured that even someone with the strongest immune system known to mankind was sure to fall sick once in his life. Michael thought this was Brian's one time. And then he'd seen those two women and that man leaving the loft just as he was stepping inside with his mother and Justin. At first he'd figured they were business acquaintances and he was prepared to let it go, even if conducting business at the loft was a little off for Brian. Then he'd heard them talking to Brian and he knew that it wasn't about business at all. 

"Drink the fucking shit, okay?" they'd told him, and Michael knew that as unlikely as it seemed, these were Brian's friends, friends, not business acquaintances. He became certain of that when Brian pulled one of the women aside and almost whispered in her ear. They were sharing a secret, that was for sure and Michael didn't like the thought that Brian kept anything from him. 

And then Michael had gone to see Brian at the office, and they had been talking when the phone rang. Brian had answered with a gruff "Kinney," surely ready to tell the caller to fuck off, when his expression softened a little. Michael remembered the conversation perfectly: "Hey... I'm okay... Not really better, but I'm functioning. He's at school, I'm sure he's okay. I know, I am... Mel, come on. I know and I will, but she did say that it would clear up before it happened, didn't she? ... Well, it hasn't cleared up yet.Oh.well, I wanted to but I don't exactly have his phone number do I?....Mel, I can't call him..I don't even speak the language!...No, I don't. Not right now." and then Brian had turned and looked at Michael, and Michael had seen a look flash in Brian's eyes, like he'd remembered he wasn't supposed to be talking to his person in front of him. Michael thought it stupid; after all, he knew Melanie and got along with her perfectly. In fact, he got along with her better than Brian did. "Listen, Mel, I'm with someone.I forgot..my mind's not what it used to be in case you haven't noticed.I'll.I'll call you.. Right, later." 

Brian had been tense after that, and Michael had left after the executive had declared he had too much work to do. Michael had returned to the store, the conversation playing and replaying in his mind, until he gave up and dialed Melanie's number. Lindsay had answered, and Michael had talked to her for a while, before asking for Melanie. When he asked Melanie about calling Brian, something Michael thought was strange to begin with, the woman snorted and said, "Why the fuck would I call that asshole?" 

But the third incident was the one Michael found hardest to believe. He'd made his way over to the loft at Justin's request that he'd not leave Brian alone. He'd been shocked, but pleased at the opportunity to spend some time with his best friend and Justin had calmed knowing that Brian had someone with him and that if something happened, if he got worse or anything, Michael would be there. So Michael had made his way upstairs, and had been no less than shocked when he saw people coming out of the loft. 

In the past, he would've assumed it was a trick, or many tricks, but Brian hadn't really fucked around for a couple of weeks, which pissed him off. Why did Justin deserve that? He didn't, he'd cheated on Brian and he certainly didn't deserve monogamy. When referring to Brian, the word made him shudder. The other reason why he knew it wasn't tricks was because just as the men came out, some women followed. 

Three of them he recognized from the other day at the loft, two blonde women and a black man, but the rest he hadn't seen in his life. 

"You don't have to WALK out!" he heard Brian shout, "I'm not THAT pathetic!"

"Yes, you are, Bri." One of the blondes laughed, just as the others did. The group, Michael counted nine-4 guys and 5 girls, stopped at the elevator and joked around, and Michael heard one of the women, one of the blondes, being addressed as Mel. 

"Hey, Pipe, don't you worry. He'll be A-okay." 

"I know that. It's just."

"That it isn't happening because of you?" 

"Yeah."

"He loved you, that's more than most can say." And then she said something Michael couldn't understand and they guy replied in the same language with a sigh. Then he heard the elevator, and for a moment he wondered how ten people would be able to fit inside. When he heard the elevator start its decent, he made his way to the loft and found Brian expecting him. 

"How did you know I was coming?" He asked. 

"I always know when someone's coming, Mikey," was the reply he got. 

Michael knew that Brian was hiding something, and he didn't like it. They were supposed to be best friends, weren't they? They were supposed to tell each other everything, weren't they?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian was dreaming. He was sitting on a mountain top with Melanie, Juan Felipe and the man in the black suit and the red tie. He was sixteen, holding the other boy's hand and happy. Melanie was talking happily about a boy she'd met at school, a boy who believed anything she would tell him. Not that she ever told him about her. 

"Why not?" Brian asked. 

"Why? Brian we aren't supposed to tell!" She replied. 

"But why?" Brian turned to the man in the black suit and the red tie and repeated his question, "Why can't we tell someone? If it's someone we know and won't tell another soul.what's the problem with telling?"

"You shouldn't tell anyone, Brian, because the common mind does not have the flexibility to accept. They might say they're willing to accept when everything is hypothetical, but when it's real their minds shut down. They panic. It isn't so much for your safety, as for theirs." The man replied. "Melanie?"

"Yes?"

"You won't tell him anything will you?"

"I want to.but I won't. I understand." 

Brian shrugged and turned to the other boy. "Guess we won't have that problem, huh?"

Juan Felipe smiled and leaned in for a kiss. "I guess not." 

*~*~*~*~*~*~* Brian sat alone in his loft and held the phone in his hand. Justin had gone to the diner to get them dinner and had promised to return soon. Taking a deep breath, he hit the talk button on the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart, although he seldom used it. "'lo?" 

"Hey, Mel. It's me." Was his greeting, quickly followed by a rough cough. 

"Still sick, huh?" Brian nodded, though he knew she couldn't see him. 

"Yeah" He cleared his throat. "Thankfully, I don't want anything to..you know."

"You want me to come over?" 

Brian shook his head and answered, "Better not."

"Why's that? Afraid Justin will think you've turned straight?"

"Mel." Brian warned. He never liked it when they got close to this subject, it was sore and uncomfortable and it made him feel like she was too much like Michael.and sometimes Lindsay. 

"Oh, get over it Brian! I've been over that for YEARS! I was just kidding. Relax, alright?" 

"Alright."

"So, what did you need to tell me? I'm busy, there's this big story brewing over here and I don't have all the time in the world, so try and be quick."

"Remember when we wanted to tell people about.us?" 

"Brian?"

"Remember how he said that.well, that basically a normal person would crack with all the information and shit? That believing in the possibility was very different from actually knowing it existed? That most people wouldn't really survive the.shock?" Brian asked

"I remember. We were up top with Juan Felipe." She said softly, paused, then asked, "What's this all about? You're not going to tell Justin, are you?"

"No! God! No, I would never..he's been through enough and doesn't need to know that I.that I'm a."

"What, a freak?" Brian laughed. "Well, you're already a fag. Doesn't get much worse than that, does it?" She kidded. 

"Guess not." He said softly. 

"You know I was kidding."

"I know."

"So.what's up?"

"I think Michael has been following me." Silence. "Mel?"

"I'm here. Just waiting for you to continue, because Michael's always following you around."

"It's not like that, Mel. He's been..hiding. Not letting me know but I think that I see him and..I don't know, I think he knows."

"Knows?! How on earth could he possibly KNOW, Brian? He likes comic books and." she laughed, "thinks you're Rage, but that's very different from."

"Mel, he was there that day when we were on the phone. He was here that day you and Lara and Kayode were over.all of a sudden he's seen and heard me talk to people I have never mentioned. He's asking too many fucking questions and..today I came home, and he was waiting, hiding in the corner of the stairs between floors..you know? Then that other day he came by RIGHT after you all, ALL, left and I think he might've seen you or something." 

"So?"

"SO?" Brian asked in outrage. "What do you mean SO?"

"He suspects you have friends you don't share with him, it's not big deal."

"But it is, Mel. Because I can't fucking feel him around and I might do or say something wrong and then he's going to find out that it's not just a group of friends I'm hiding, but something else."

Melanie sighed. "Listen, Brian. I know you don't want me to say this, and I know how you feel about this, but He wasn't always right, you know? He made a few mistakes and maybe saying that a normal person couldn't or wouldn't process the information was just one of those mistakes. I mean, we're only human after all and we all make mistakes."

"He never made any mistakes, Mel."

"Oh, come on!"

"Maybe..Maybe when He assumed we did things we didn't, or when He assigned us all wrong that day for training, but He's never been wrong on what He said. His lessons were all right."

"Like the one about not getting sick?" Brian was quiet. "Brian, you can't stop doing whatever is it that you're doing that Michael might discover. You need to be careful, and I'll let everyone know not to stop by, but you can't stop. Especially NOT now, not with what's going to happen once you get better."

"Fuck."

"I know."

The door of the loft slid open and Justin came in with two brown paper bags and smiled brightly at the man on the couch. "Listen, Justin's here. I'll call you later."

"Alright"


	4. Rage

2:00 AM. “Shit,” Brian thought, “another restless night.”

He was amazed at how difficult it was to really sleep when you had your nose stuffed up, your throat sore as hell and a nagging headache that wouldn’t go away, even in sleep. That night he’d fallen asleep earlier than he’d had in a while, right after he and Justin had eaten dinner and after Brian had tried, and failed, to get Justin to have sex. 

“I really want to, Bri. Really, I do. But you’re sick and I can’t get sick, I have this big project coming up and…you need your energy to get better and…”

“Fuck, Justin. It’s been too long.” Brian had said, mentally counting the days. It had been too long. Brian felt like he was going insane, both from the lack of sex and regular contact with his other ‘world.’ It had already been three days since he’d had any type of contact with Melanie, something that had never happened. More over, it had been more than three days since he’d had sex and the need was killing him. 

Justin had walked over to him and kissed his cheek, then his neck. “I promise that when you get better I’ll let you fuck me for two days straight.”

“Only two days?” But then he’d fallen asleep before he could hear Justin’s reply. 

A sudden urge to pee made Brian bolt from the bed and into the bathroom, and it was only as he washed his hands afterwards that he realized that he felt different. He felt. The fact that the headache was gone along with the sore throat and stuffy nose was nothing compared to the fact that he felt. He sighed in relief as he focused on the presence of Melanie and the others. 

It was then that the panic started to settle in. For all he could feel, for all he could think, there was no trace of Justin. He remembered in a split second that the bed had been empty, and he didn’t remember whether or not any lights had been on.

Why would Justin be out of bed at two in the morning? 

Lara’s words came back to him. Justin wasn’t in any danger until Brian got better. It was only when Brian got better that Justin would be in danger. 

Panic surged through him as one lone tear escaped his left eye. Thoughts of failure and being too late raced through his brain. “FUCK!!!” He yelled as he threw random items to the floor. “FUCK!!!” He couldn’t believe it. Justin was… and he was too fucking late because he had to sleep! Maybe, maybe if he hadn’t gone to the bathroom he would’ve been on time, but now it was too fucking late. 

“Brian?!” was the alarmed cry that barely registered above Brian’s angered thoughts and motions. “Brian!” 

The blond moved forward and tentatively placed a hand on Brian’s arm, trying to still the older man. “Brian, calm down. What’s wrong?” 

Justin’s voice broke through, and Brian twirled around so fast that the blond jumped back in shock. “Justin. You’re okay…you’re not…you’re okay! You’re here!” He panted as he closed the distance between the blond and himself, taking Justin in a tight hug. 

Justin would’ve laughed at the situation, and the idiocy of Brian’s statements- where the fuck else would he be? - But the image of Brian angry and yelling only seconds before was frozen in his mind. “Brian? Are you okay? Do you have a fever?” 

Brian laughed softly, “No. I’m all better, Sunshine. All better.” He felt a sense of dread grow in him as he said those words, he almost added, ‘but you won’t be.’ 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He’d just gotten settled behind his computer when the loft door slid open to reveal Michael, and Brian made a mental note of changing the locks and only giving the key out to Lindsay- and only because she was the mother of his child. He nodded towards the other man and returned to his work. Unbelievable as it was, Brian Kinney had fallen slightly behind on his work. Being sick would do that, he guessed, but now that he was better he was planning an all-nighter to get caught up and show everyone at Vanguard that he was still at the top of his game and that, after all, he was still partner and they weren’t. He had a pitch tomorrow and he couldn’t wait to razzle and dazzle them all with his concept and, of course, it didn’t hurt that the campaign bonus would put some nice cash in his pocket. 

“Hey, Brian.” Michael greeted, intent on his purposes and oblivious to the other man’s resistance. 

“Mikey. I’m working, can you come back?”

“I was hoping we could talk.” 

Fuck, Brian thought as he saved the document and turned the computer off. “Sure, Mikey. Wanna drink?”

“Are you sure that you should drink with that nasty cold thing you have?”

Brian smirked and poured the Jim Beam into a glass, “I’m not sick anymore, in case you haven’t noticed….so, want a drink or what?” 

Michael shook his head no. He was about to open his mouth when the phone rang, and Brian all but ran to answer it. Odd, Michael thought, Brian had always let the phone ring at least twice before approaching it. “Yeah? ... Hey, Mel! ... I know, it’s just so fucking uncharacteristic, isn’t it? .....” and that was all Michael could follow, because after that, Brian started to speak in a language he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. And then, just like the other day, Brian caught sight of Michael and quickly hung up the phone. 

The tall man moved towards the kitchen and extracted a bottle of water from the refrigerator, forgetting his drink on the living room table. “Brian.”

“Huh?” He decided to play dumb, maybe Michael would give up easily. 

“What the fuck was that?”

“What?”

“That, just now.”

“It’s called a phone call, Mikey.” Brian started as he moved back towards the sofa, “you know, people do it to talk when they’re not in the same place.”

“Can’t you ever take anything seriously?” Michael whined, but Brian merely raised an eyebrow and said, 

“You asked me what it was, I answered.”

“You were speaking in this….I couldn’t understand a word you said!”

Brian laughed, “Mikey, the only language I speak is English. Don’t be stupid.”

“Stupid! STUPID? You’re calling me stupid?! FUCK YOU, Brian. I’m the only one who even notices!”

“Notices?”

“That you’re keeping stuff from us….from ME!” 

Brian had to laugh, “And since when am I not allowed to do that?” Sometimes Michael made him incredibly angry. He thought that just because they grew up together, they had obligations towards each other. 

“Since I’m your fucking BEST FRIEND, Brian! That’s since when!”

“Fuck you, Michael. I’m allowed to keep stuff to myself whenever I feel like it!”

“No you’re not!”

“Excuse me?”

“All of a sudden you have all these people coming by I’ve never even heard of, you have phone calls with this Mel person…and don’t tell me it’s Melanie Marcus because I know it’s not.”

“It isn’t, why the fuck would I talk to her?”

“And then…..Fuck it! I just feel like you have this secret life I know nothing about! Tell me, Brian…since you’re so fucking smart! FUCKING TELL ME WHY THAT IS?”

“BECAUSE I DO, MICHAEL!” Brian yelled back. The two were now facing each other, mere inches between their faces. “But then again,” he said quietly, “it’s none of your business!” Brian turned away, leaving the conversation for dead, and headed towards his bedroom.

“But it IS my business Brian!” Michael caught his arm and pulled him back. “Jesus! I don’t even know you anymore!” 

“Then that’s your problem, Mikey, not mine. You didn’t have to go around snooping, so now that you know there’s something you know absolutely NOTHING about….that’s your own fucking fault.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“Brian?” Justin called as he entered the loft. It was relatively early and he hadn’t expected the older man to be home, unless he’d gotten sick again. Justin shook his head. He certainly didn’t want Brian to be sick, spending all that time without kissing or fucking him had been torturous and he wasn’t looking forward for a repeat. But he wasn’t going to get himself sick either. There was too much going on at the time. 

“Hey”

“What are you doing here?”

“I thought I lived here.” Brian arched his eyebrow. 

“I mean, here, so early?” Brian shrugged, declaring the end of the discussion. 

“I saw my mom today.”

“That’s nice.” The older man replied, nibbling on the blond’s neck. “Umm, you taste so good.”

“Brian…” Justin gasped. “I’m trying to tell you something”

“I’m sure it can wait.” Hands sneaked inside the blond’s pants, rubbing and squeezing the soft flesh they found. 

“Oh…Brian…listen, I…stop!”

Brian removed his hands from Justin’s ass and received a frown. “You need to make up your mind, here, Justin.” 

“I just need to tell you something first, then you can fuck me all night if you want.”

“And who says I’ll be in the mood then?” Brian arched an eyebrow and retreated back into the bedroom. 

“Aren’t you always?” 

“….so, speak, then.”

Justin ran a nervous hand through his hair. He knew, he was absolutely certain, that Brian wouldn’t be pleased with his request. He was almost sure, just about 99% sure, that he would deny it, but at least he had to try. “There’s this…uh, function thing at the country club? Like a dinner sort of thing…it’s uh, this Sunday.”

Brian sighed, “You don’t need my permission to go out with your mother.”

“I know…I….Uh….I was just wondering if you would…”

“No.” Brian shook his head in horror. “No fucking way.”

“But Brian, it’s really a simple thing and, well, I just want to show them that there’s more to the world than what they know and…” he trailed off.

“And what, Justin?”

“And there’s lots of kids from St. James who are members and I just want to…you know….”

“You already did that, Justin! With the prom, or don’t you remember?” Justin shrugged. “Jesus, everyone who gave you a hard time at school was there, with their mouths hanging fucking open because that was all they could do. They all saw us dance and kiss and leave, and I’m pretty sure they all found out what happened after.” 

Brian smiled despite himself. Half of him was angry at Justin for having to make these ‘statements’ all the time. Who the fuck cared if Society approved? He understood part of his motivation to make himself be accepted, but hadn’t it been enough? The other half of him was proud that Justin wasn’t completely pleased with the way things were, and that same half was too caught up in the memories of the prom to be angry or sad. That night, well, as he’d said to Justin before the boy returned upstairs to fetch his friend, had been ridiculously romantic. What had followed the dance had been even more amazing. He could still remember his soft whisper, almost afraid, asking Justin to come back to live with him. He could still see Justin’s smile, and the eager kiss that followed. Most of all he remembered how they didn’t leave the bed, save for snacks or a quick bathroom stop, for over 24 hours. 

But he still didn’t understand why Justin needed to do this. 

“I do remember! I could never forget that! It was the best night of my life!” Justin exclaimed.

“Then why do you want a repeat?!”

“I DON’T want a repeat, and I don’t want to make a stupid statement!” Brian arched an eyebrow. “Okay, I know that’s what I just said, but I really don’t….it’s just about….every kid is going with a date, and then my mom goes and asks me to bring Daphne…and how fucking unfair is that?”

“Justin…”

“I know what you think about it. It’s stupid, forget it.”

“It’s not stupid.” Brian moved towards Justin and wrapped him in a hug. “It’s not stupid. It’s unfair, you’re right.”

“Will you come, then?”

Brian sighed. “I…I don’t know. I don’t want anything to happen….and…”

“Think about it?” Justin whispered looking up to meet Brian’s hazel eyes. 

“I will.”

“Fuck me?”

“Gladly.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Brian looked around the room and sighed. He didn’t even know why he’d come to them and asked for…advice, was it? It was obvious they’d tell him to go. Lara was a big romantic. Fareed was happily married and believed that details where what mattered most. Juan Felipe, well, Juan Felipe wanted romance with Brian, and he wasn’t about to deny Justin any of the things he’d shared with the other man in earlier days. As for Melanie, she was the only one thinking about Brian’s recent illness and what it meant. 

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I don’t think I am.”

“Christ, Brian!” 

“What?” Three heads turned towards him. Lara was the first to speak. 

“I think it’s incredibly romantic that he asked you!” she gushed.

“It WAS, the FIRST time he did it, and look where that got us!”

“Is living with him really THAT bad, Bri?” Melanie teased and Brian showed her a scornful look. 

“You better get used to it, man. These details are what count, you know? Letting people know that you are there and together and happy. I’ve had to attend a few for my wife myself.” Said Fareed with the faraway look he got whenever he mentioned his wife. 

“I don’t know how you can say details are all-important and you’re still keeping this huge secret from her.” Melanie said again, she was used to playing referee at times like this. 

“I keep it from her because I don’t want her to spontaneously combust!”

“I don’t think she would. I never have.” 

“What do YOU know, Mel? You’ve never had a relationship that’s been worth telling the truth to!”

“Which is why I haven’t, Fareed. But don’t think that when and if the time comes, I will tell him.” 

Brian sighed and leaned back onto the couch. He didn’t really want to say ‘no’ to Justin. Not because he wanted to go to the fucking Country Club, but because he knew what Justin’s reaction would be like. He didn’t really want to say yes, either. He’d never been the one to live in the closet, not at all, but he could do without the judgment. 

The next words spoken came across as a whisper. “You should go.” All heads turned towards the man who’d kept quiet since they’d taken their seats. 

“Uh?” 

“You should go.” Brian sighed and frowned, what was this about? “I keep thinking that if we….”

“Don’t,” Brian warned. What was this curse he had that everyone found themselves in love with him? Mikey was. Lindsay was. Melanie had been, or so she claimed. And Juan Felipe…Brian thought they were both over their past relationship, but apparently that wasn’t true. He mentally scolded himself for bringing this upon himself by being, as always, a heartless asshole. 

“But I have to, because otherwise you would never understand.” Juan Felipe sighed and moved slightly closer to the other man. “Brian” he whispered in English, and then went back to their tongue. “You and I, the only reason we broke up was because our ‘lives’ didn’t fit. You live in this country, and I live in another. We tried, remember? and couldn’t come up with valid reasons to explain why we were and why…” back to English, as they had always said the words that would follow in the other’s native tongue, “I loved you.” He cleared his throat. “I know you don’t like to think about this, but you know just as well as I do that if we’d found those reasons we’d still be together today.”

“Pipe, I…I’m sorry about using you like I did that day but I’m with Justin now and…you know…”

“I’m not telling you this for you to be sorry, Brian. I knew when I agreed to see you where everything stood. I’m just telling you that so that you realize that you have that, the only thing we couldn’t have, with Justin. And you should use it to your advantage. You might have to keep this secret from him, but everything else between the two of you is easy when you compare it to…well, us.”

“You’re telling me to go because I couldn’t go with you?” Brian asked confused. 

“Yes. I’m telling you to take advantage of the fact that you have legitimate stories in each other’s life, take advantage of it, Bri.” 

“On the other hand, if you don’t go, something bad is likely to happen to Justin!” Melanie spoke, breaking the tension and bringing them back to reality. It was true that they’d all championed for Juan Felipe and Brian through the years they’d been together, but things hadn’t worked out and they’d all thought both men had moved on. She was starting to realize that she’d been wrong, but at least the other man knew his place in Brian’s life. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?” barked Brian. 

“You were sick, now you’re not, now Justin’s in danger of something and I thought we all agreed that you wouldn’t be far from him for too long of a time.” She recited. 

“Christ! I’d forgotten all about that shit!”

“See, Bri, what in the world you would you do without me?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Michael had been following him. It was constant, and now Brian was well enough as to feel everything around him. There was nothing he could do, really, other than stay still and not do anything at all. The day before, Friday, when he’d gone to Melanie’s to consult about whether or not to go with Justin to the Country Club fiasco, he’d had to go into the baths and lock himself into one of the rooms. He assumed Michael bought it, because after he came out of the Liberty Baths, Michael’s presence was still there and he didn’t feel overly suspicious or upset. Maybe just jealous. Other than that, there wasn’t much he could do.

Brian began to block out Michael by mid Friday afternoon. He tried to distract himself on other things, mainly Justin’s essence so he could monitor if he was alright or not. So far, the kid was jumping with energy and joy at Brian’s newfound interest in all things Justin. 

He frowned slightly and made his way towards the street. It was raining heavily and he started to run the fastest he could in hopes of loosing Michael in the rain. It wouldn’t be that hard to do, Michael had never been much of a runner or much of…anything else, for that matter. Six o’clock was quickly approaching and Brian was afraid he was going to be late. He’d been late only once before and even then it had been by only a matter of seconds. The man in the black suit and the red tie had told him that had he let the clock change to 6:01, Brian would’ve been stuck outside the door. 

Now there was no man waiting to shut the door, but Brian still felt the need to hurry inside. He had a nasty feeling about this Country Club thing, and the problem with Michael was getting a little out of hand. Maybe Catalina or Ling Mai would have ideas as to what to do; both women had dealt with similar situations before. Spotting the building, Brian sped his pace and was inside in no time. He ran upstairs and to the door, stopping shortly only to check his watch. 5:59, just in time. As he stepped inside he wasn’t all too surprised to find everyone already there, and was only too glad when someone, he couldn’t quite remember who, suggested they’d go train for an hour or so. Brian quickly ran into the combat room, ready to take on Yung Ho. 

Exactly four hours later, sweaty and a little sore from his exertions and his fight with Yung Ho, the man was almost as good as he was at the martial arts; Brian stepped out of the room feeling as a though huge weight had been lifted off his shoulder. Even though the group didn’t offer much advice, no one knew how to stop Michael or prevent anything from happening to Justin, listening to their bickering and simply talking to people who understood had bean a great stress reliever. 

Closing the door tightly behind him, Brian checked his watch and readjusted his pants and shirt before making his way towards the stairs. His mind was filled with thoughts of Justin, and he mentally sought the younger man out to check if Justin was, indeed, okay. He was starting to think that his flu/cold thing had been just a fluke and nothing was going to happen to Justin, ever. Right now, the only thing Brian was sure of was that he wanted to get to the loft and fuck the blond all night long. 

Fighting always made him horny. 

Maybe that was what had sparked his relationship with Juan Felipe. 

Though the Colombian wasn’t as good a fuck as Justin was. 

Justin was the best.

Yes, definitely the best.

Brian smirked and took the first step and then froze. “Fuck” he muttered and ran a hand through is hair. 

Michael took a step towards Brian and frowned. “Well?”

“Well?” 

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” Brian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. 

“About?”

“I knew it was here, Brian. What do you do in there, get stoned or something?” Brian remained quiet, he wasn’t sure how much the other man knew and wasn’t about to give him more information than needed. “I knew it was here since that day a long time ago.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“We had plans for that Saturday, and then you just disappeared, said you had something else to do. So I followed you here, and when you came out you looked all…stoned. That’s what you’ve been doing right? It’s probably heroin or something.”

Brian extended his arms in anger. Michael had been following him, not only recently, but since he’d been thirteen. “Check for track marks, Michael.” And the shorter man did. Brian huffed in anger and stormed past Michael, who ran after him while calling his name. Once outside, Brian stopped and turned around. 

“What the fuck do you want Michael? You’ve been following me all this fucking time, for all I know all my fucking life! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?!”

“I WANT TO KNOW WHY?”

“Why what? Why I have a life aside from yours? Why not every fucking thing I do revolves around you?”

Michael looked at his feet. 

“We’d discussed this before, Michael. I have a life that you’re not part of, just leave it alone.”

“I can’t leave it alone, Brian. You’re my best friend.”

“Leave it the fuck alone, or you won't be my ‘best friend’ for long.” Brian replied, but this time with a softer voice. He couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty. Although it was common knowledge among his ‘family’, and all of Liberty Avenue, that he was a heartless asshole who apparently enjoyed leading his best friend on, making him believe that maybe someday there could be something more than friendship between them, Brian couldn’t help but feel guilt at leading Michael on in yet another way. Michael really wasn’t his best friend. He’d probably taken that place for a year, but then he’d met and been paired off with Melanie and she became his best friend, not Michael. 

“I’m worried, that’s all…I just thought that….oh, never mind.”

“Thought that you’d follow me and then I’d tell you everything?” 

“Sort of.”

“Jesus, Michael. What the fuck?” 

“Brian…”

“Christ, this isn’t the place, let’s go somewhere else.” So they did, and as both men sat down in a café, out of all places, Michael started inquiring about Brian’s big secret. The slightly older man was confused and enraged, all at the same time. Brian, his best friend, had been keeping secrets from him his whole life. All this time he’d been thinking, no, he’d known he knew everything about Brian and now he was finding he didn’t, he hadn’t.

“And those people, who the fuck are they? And why do you always go to that place on Saturdays?” Brian sighed, decided to risk Michael’s sanity in exchange for his and took a deep breath. 

“They’re my friends, Michael. I’ve known them since I was thirteen, and that’s how long I’ve been going to that place on Saturdays. We train there….” And before he knew it, Brian had given Michael a very short version of the story, just highlighting what he could do and what he couldn’t and why it was extremely important that no one else find out about it. 

Michael was angry that he hadn’t been told before, and stormed out of the café without so much as a word to Brian.


	5. Rage

Sunday night came quickly, and soon Brian found himself dressed in his finest suit and standing among old, middle-aged and young WASPs. As Justin took his hand and led him around introducing him to various family friends, Brian took a deep, deep breath and tried to think of happy thoughts. Maybe he could disappear to the bathroom and only come out when it was time to leave, but then he thought that would defeat the whole purpose of his presence. 

The Taylor's, namely Jennifer, had been extremely successful in keeping news and gossip about Justin at bay, though that was all thrown out the window the moment Justin, all of nineteen years old, walked hand in hand with a tall man who looked, well, not nineteen. A couple of members even whispered that they'd seen Brian around, maybe even hired him on occasion. Brian's age was more of a subject than the fact that Brian was a man, Justin was a man and the relationship between the two was obvious to anyone who cared to look. The gossip that had been waylaid for nearly two years by Jennifer and her husband came flooding out as soon as it was apparent that Jennifer and Craig Taylor's perfect boy was gay. And not only that, but he was.whatever it was that two men could be, with a man obviously older than he was. 

Brian found himself breaking his rule about hypocrisy and smiling at everyone he was being introduced to. "Oh, Justin, poor dear. I didn't know you were gay; certainly there must be something you can do about it? Isn't it? I mean to say, what a horrible burden!" Exclaimed an old lady with a shrimp ball in one hand, a cocktail in the other, and before Brian could even mutter a word, he was pulled away by Justin's arm. 

They made their way out of the clubhouse slowly, Justin pausing to chat with people he hadn't seen in two years and who didn't appear to have noticed his extended absence. Brian locked eyes with an angry looking boy near a table, but shrugged it off. Those weren't the only pair of angry eyes he'd seen that night. "You didn't tell me you weren't out, Justin!" Brian scolded. 

"That's because I didn't know I wasn't out! You think I came here every Sunday after my father threw me out? Think again, Brian." They were outside now, and Justin led them to a trail of bushes and flowers that led to a part of the golf fields. 

"Well"

"I hadn't been here since I met you, Brian. There was really nothing for me to out before that."

"Well, your mother should've said something. I don't think I would've come if I'd known better."

"But what difference does it make, really?" Brian stopped and looked at Justin. The younger man looked beautiful, and Brian's argument was lost as he stared into the most beautiful and peaceful eyes he'd ever seen. Justin always seemed to do that for him, not that Brian would ever admit that he was speechless. The moonlight shone on Justin's face and reflected perfectly on his skin and Brian realized he wanted him so much, needed him so much, that if he didn't have him with him forever he would die. He was certain of that. "Brian?"

"Shhh" Brian whispered before leaning down to kiss the teen. After what seemed to both men as the shortest and the longest kiss in their history, Brian pulled back and the two continued their walk in silence, hands securely wrapped against each other. 

An angry boy ran out of the clubhouse and onto the fields. What were these people thinking coming here and showing off? They had no right! He was going to make sure they knew never to come by here again. 

Brian smiled softly and squeezed Justin's hand. He was never the one to be romantic, but he supposed this was an exception. Because there was no mistaking, this scene was definitely romantic. It was almost as romantic, as ridiculously romantic, as the prom. He smiled at the memory of their dance and the outraged faces and the face Justin had made when he'd asked him to move back in. He could feel the world starting to slip away and he didn't try to fight it. There wasn't much he could be concerned about right now, except to keep walking with Justin near him, his hand in his and their minds in perfect tune. Soon all Brian could feel was Justin next to him, and that's the way he wanted it. He renounced having any special abilities, powers or whatever the fuck people called them, for the night, just like he'd done the night of the prom. It hadn't done any harm then and it certainly wouldn't do any tonight. It couldn't. Tonight was perfect. He let Justin know that much and the blond smiled brightly, that Sunshine smile, and kissed Brian's hand. 

"Did you hear something?" Justin asked, stopping for a second. 

"No." 

"I think I'm going crazy."

"Bad news there, Sunshine. You went mad the moment you decided you wanted me." Brian stated, turning away from the blond for a moment or two. The scene was getting to him and he was determined, as always, not to get overly emotional. And that was when, in that split second that he looked away, he heard the distinct noise of a bat making contact with something hard. 

Brian felt a tug on his hand, then a release of pressure as Justin's hand slipped from his and the blond fell to the floor. At first he didn't see the blood on Justin's head, running down his face. At first all he saw was the angry boy he remembered had been in the clubhouse earlier. He saw the look on his face and the bat as he began to swing again. Brian saw the bat come down, and it was only when it was mere inches away from Justin's battered head that Brian snapped out of his state of shock took the bat from the boy and threw it towards the trees. 

The boy looked startled at Brian's strength and the ease with which he'd disposed of the bat, but as he started to run he felt Brian's arms around him and the next thing he knew, he'd been thrown against a tree. Too weak to move, the boy shook and closed his eyes hoping the man would leave him alone. And Brian did. There were far more important things than vengeance at the moment. This boy didn't matter, the one lying on the lawn did. 

He rushed to Justin's side and quickly noted that although still alive, he needed to do something quickly before the life drained from him as the blood drained and pooled around his head. It would have been easy to just close his arms around the blond and deposit themselves in a hospital, but then it would have been incredibly difficult to come up with some sort of believable answer. 

Instead he took off his suit jacket and pressed it against Justin's head wound while he frantically searched for his phone. He dialed 911, refused to stay on the line, and hung up. "No, no, no, no! God!" He yelled. It was all his fault. He knew that something was likely to happen to Justin, his fucking flu!, and yet he'd let his guard completely down. The man in the black suit and the red tie would have been incredibly disappointed in him if.

"Brian!" Melanie appeared suddenly in front of him. "Brian, are you okay?" then she spotted Justin and gasped, "oh my god!"

"Mel, I.I don't know how it.it was my fault, I just let my guard down, I didn't think that anything would."

"Shhh, Brian. Did you call an ambulance?" 

"On their way."

"Good, I'm going to get Kayode and Lara to meet you at the hospital, okay?" Brian nodded slightly, and the blonde woman was gone. 

It was all his fault. "Please forgive me, Sunshine. I didn't mean to... " It was then he heard the sirens, and with much noise and preparation the paramedics took Justin to the hospital with Brian in the back of the ambulance and half the Country Club, including Jennifer, trailing behind in an array of BMW's, Mercedes and everything else from Audi's to Bentleys. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~* "Here you go, Kiddo." Brian looked up and reluctantly took the cup of coffee Debbie was offering. The woman sat down next to Brian and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder that Brian was too weak to fight off. "He's going to be okay, you know?"

"You certainly look over-worried, then, Deb, if you're so sure." Debbie shrugged and moved a couple of chairs down, but it wasn't long before her son replaced her. 

Brian hadn't seen Michael since his confession the day before. He was glad the man still looked sane and even ventured to think that maybe the man in the black suit and the red tie had been wrong after all. 

"There's just one thing that I don't get, Brian."

"And what would that be?"

"Well" Michael rubbed his neck, "if you have the power to do shit, then why didn't you?" 

Brian shook his head and turned away. He knew that it was his fault. He should've never let his guard down. Fuck, hadn't he been taught to never let his fucking guard down? And now Justin could die. Michael was right. He had the ability to stop it, why didn't he?

He spotted Jennifer coming out Justin's room and made his way inside. 

It had been hours since they'd arrived at the hospital and the Country Club members had gotten bored and left as soon as Justin was declared out of immediate danger, explaining that there was nothing they could do and not wanting to be in the way. Out of immediate danger only meant that the bleeding had been stopped. Everything else was up in the air. It was unknown whether or not Justin would wake up, and if, in case he did wake up, he would be normal again or if there was any extensive brain damage. As it was, the doctors- namely Kayode- had had to drill a hole in Justin's skull to drain a blood clot out. Lara, on her part, had been busy trying to control Jennifer and she would stay to help Justin deal with the situation in case he woke up. The boy had been arrested but Brian assumed he'd already been let out on bail. He really didn't give a fuck about what happened to the asshole. 

His steps were shaky as he crossed the threshold of the small room that had been assigned to Justin. He'd felt guilty about Justin's fate before, like when his father had disowned him and had forced him to move out of the house when he wasn't even out of high school, but nothing compared to this. Because this time he knew that it was his fault, completely his fault. He knew that Justin was in danger, or at the very least he'd been warned against it, and yet he let his guard down and let something happen to him. 

He almost fell when he saw Justin on the bed. The blond looked paler than usual, no doubt caused by the amount of blood he's lost. A white bandage was wrapped tightly around his head, and a large part of it was stained by bright red blood. Other than an almost imperceptible rise and fall of the chest, Justin lay completely still. His heart broke into a millions pieces as he neared the bed, touched Justin's pale cheek and received no reaction. 

"He's lucky," came the voice and language he'd been hoping to hear since he stepped into the hospital. Brian turned and faced the black man behind him. 

"Where have you been?"

Kayode shrugged. "I'm not exactly staff in this place, the attending on call insisted he'd inform you personally." Brian nodded. 

"How bad?"

"I just wish I could tell you, but as long as he's unconscious."

"He's in a coma, isn't he?"

Kayode nodded. 

"Fuck! I really do know how to screw up, don't I?"

"Brian, it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known."

"But I DID! Something was supposed to happen to him and I knew it and yet.I didn't do anything but let my guard down." He exclaimed, careful to keep his voice down. He didn't look forward to explaining why he was yelling at a doctor in a strange language. 

"You weren't expecting it then, Brian. And we've all let our guard down from time to time. Worse has happened to all of us, it was just about time something happened to you." Brian thought that seemed angry, but it was true. 

"Is he going to.be okay?"

"That depends. He's stable, I'm pretty confident his life is not at risk right now, but it really all depends on his waking up."

"There must be something I can do." Kayode shrugged. 

"There's stuff, but they're just theories." Brian turned and raised a questioning eyebrow. "You remember all that about energy transfer?" Brian nodded. "That might be your best bet." Brian nodded once again. 

"Can you, I mean, leave us alone for a bit?"

"Sure thing, you know how to find me." Brian nodded, yet again, and sat down next to Justin's side. Once he made sure he was alone with Justin, Brian leaned down and kissed the blond's lips. 

"I'm so sorry, Jus. I should've watched you better, I sort of knew this was coming and.well, I was just too caught up in you to really pay attention. I.Uh.I'm going to try this thing so you'll wake up but it might not work. They're just theories, you know?" He took a deep breath and prepared. 

In all their lessons they'd never really done this before, as it was only a theory and they'd never had the need to experience it before. "Here goes nothing." He whispered and placed his lips upon the blond's once more. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, concentrating on passing all his energy onto Justin. There wasn't much he could feel aside from a coolness that was taking over his body. If someone had been standing in the room, he or she would've seen the clichéd white light emanating from where the two mouths joined. When the cool was too much to take, Brian pulled away and stared at Justin, waiting and hoping for something to happen. 

"Come on, Sunshine, you need to wake up." 

To Brian's surprise, Justin did. His blue eyes fluttered open and Justin moaned softly. "Justin" Brian gasped. "It worked." Justin blinked in confusion. "Never mind, you're awake. That's what matters."

Justin tried to speak, but found his throat remarkably dry. Brian handed him a glass of water, not before hesitating so much that Kayode shot the go-ahead into his mind, it wasn't something that happened often. "Wh.what happened?"

"You don't remember?" Justin tried to shake his head, but the pain stopped him. "You were hit on the head by a baseball bat."

A huff of laugh escaped Justin's lips. "I don't find it funny, Jus."

"It isn't... it's.I.ironic." Brian raised an eyebrow, but Justin drifted off to sleep before he could receive any other explanation. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The next day, Brian entered Justin's room to find a new doctor there, apparently telling Justin something unpleasant. The kid was nearly in tears, and Brian almost kicked the doctor out. 

"With time it'll get better, Justin, you have to believe that or the best therapy won't work." Justin slightly nodded his head, as he was still very sore, and then allowed his head to hang. "I'll come see you tomorrow then." The blond tried to nod again, but met Brian's eyes and quickly looked away. 

The doctor nodded at Brian on his way out, and when the door shut, Justin asked Brian to come closer. "Who the fuck was that?"

"Another doctor."

"What did he say?"

Justin looked down at his hands, he couldn't believe that there was a possibility he could never... "what makes you think he said anything?"

"You're nearly in tears, Sunshine, and I doubt it's your allergies this time." Brian joked. Justin conveniently got his allergies whenever something emotional happened between him and the other man. Brian wasn't fooled, though, but he played along with it. 

"He.he said I.that I." Justin looked down at his hands again. Brian followed his gaze and noticed, not for the first time, that his right hand was clamped into a tight fist. Brian had assumed that it was only a thing from the pain or something, but never something more. Now, he had the feeling that it was definitely something more. 

it was nearly 9 pm on Monday; Justin had been drifting to sleep so often that it had been nearly impossible to do any significant testing as to what the damage was. Justin remembered everything until Brian had kissed him out on the golf fields. From then on, the ten or so minutes that elapsed between the kiss and the hit, Justin's memory was blank. The doctors assured him that it was normal, and that Justin's knowledge of where he was and where he'd been before was a very good sign. Now Brian was sure that's where the good news stopped. 

He'd already been told how lucky Justin had been a thousand times. An inch one way or the other and the teen would've died. Brian shuddered at the thought. It had all been his fault. His mistake had nearly cost Justin his life. 

"What?" he asked impatiently. 

"I might never get full use of my hand again." Brian's eyes widened and finally met Justin's. "As it is I can barely lift my arm."

"Is it." Brian wanted to ask, but he knew it was. Justin wouldn't have been so upset if it wasn't his drawing arm. 

"Yeah."

"Fuck." 

"I know."

"You'll be fine, Sunshine. I'll make sure of it." Justin looked up at Brian and laughed. "I didn't realize it was funny." 

"It's just that.you know, you sound so much like Rage!" 

Brian coughed in surprise; this was the last thing he needed. "What?"

"You know, Rage, you, saved JT, me, from a bashing in the head and brought him back to life with an earth-shattering kiss, just like you did." Justin stated in all seriousness. 

"What the fuck are you talking about? I think that hit did more damage than we think!" Brian exclaimed. 

"Not really. Michael told me he saw you kissing me, through that window" Justin pointed with his left hand towards the window on his right, "right before I woke up. In fact, he said that I woke up right after you pulled away."

"Michael doesn't know."

"Shit, I know. But I DO know shit. You don't have to tell me everything for me to know, Brian."

"What on earth are you talking about?" Justin laughed, and then held his head for a moment or two as the pain stifled. 

"I've known you were different from the night I met you, Brian. It's why I fell in love with you instantly. I don't know exactly what it is that makes you different, but I've seen things I really didn't mean to see and I know that... well, that you're more like Rage than you'd like to admit. That's why you were such an... asshole and tried to destroy everything." Brian grimaced as he remembered the pissing incident. "I knew it was more than just jealousy."

"I'm really sorry about that, Justin. I just freaked, hit a little too close to home, you know?" There was no point in denying something that Justin obviously knew to be true. When Justin made up his mind or thought he knew something, there was nothing anyone could do to change his mind. 

The teen shrugged. "I don't know what it is, Bri, and to be honest I don't even want to know. I just... Thank you, for saving my life."

Brian shook his head. "I didn't save your life, Justin. If I'd been paying attention then that kid wouldn't have."

"Never mind that, Brian." Justin interrupted. "You kissed me and just like Rage and the stupid comic book, saved my life. Because there isn't a bone in my bone that doesn't believe that if you hadn't done that I'd be dead."

"Too bad a kiss won't fix your hand." Brian muttered, silently scolding himself once again for letting anything happen to Justin. 

"I know, but you can help me fix it."

"And how would I do that?"

"You can promise me kisses if I'm good in therapy." Justin suggested with a smirk. 

"You know, for someone who got hit over the head with a baseball bat yesterday and almost bled to death, you're certainly animated." Justin shrugged. "I'm not to sure I want to kiss you right now."

"Oh, come on! I have a dent on my skull and a hole they drilled in yesterday to extract blood from my brain! You're not going to make me beg, are you?" 

Brian leaned back and considered his choices. The blue in Justin's eyes was back to almost normal and he had to smile. He made his decision, and leaned down and gave Justin a chaste kiss on his lips. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Laughter erupted as the group moved outside. It was a wonderful day and the mountains were certain to look their best today. "I can't believe that! He knew? All along?"

Brian shrugged and sat down on the veranda, something everyone else was afraid to do. They might be special, but falling thousands of feet would still kill them. Brian had always defied death. "He didn't know, and doesn't still, but he's always known something."

This was yet another piece of evidence as to why he was with Justin and not Michael. Justin had always known there was something different about Brian, always known that there was something about the man's life that he didn't know and something Brian wasn't likely to share, and yet, knowing all that, Justin had remained silent and gone on with his life. Brian finally understood that Justin just wanted him; unlike Michael, the blond didn't fell the need to control or know everything about his life. That made him smile. 

Michael.well, he still wasn't too pleased with Michael. What the fuck had the man been thinking telling Justin that he'd seen Brian kiss the blond, and the white light, and the influence that had on Justin's health? He couldn't even get past the angry question Michael had shot at him in the waiting room. Didn't he think that Brian would've done everything in his power to ensure that Justin was alright? Brian hadn't spoken to the man since the waiting room and he wasn't planning on doing it any time soon either. Even Deb understood Brian's motives, as she's heard him telling Ben that it had all been Brian's fault because, as was obvious, the only thing Brian cared about was getting his dick sucked. 

But Brian really could care less. Justin had one more week to go in physical therapy and then he was free to go home. Brian couldn't wait. 

"Then I think that had more influence on the comic that you wanted to believe." A tall Icelandic blonde said. 

This time Brian shrugged, his fear about Rage and what the comic book could mean gone. "Maybe, but still... fields of mind distortion?"

Melanie laughed; she'd been the one to make that comment before. 

"I told you all that we should do something other than just sit there and wait! You could go around stopping all homophobic pricks who threaten the future of 'gaypolis'" Marie said, this time finally joking. 

"Or, as he knows it, Liberty Avenue." Juan Felipe quipped. 

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Oh, don't tell me you don't think I'm right? If you wore tights you could've killed the asshole and no one would've said a word." Brian had to laugh at that. It was the first time in many years he found the petite French girl amusing. 

"Tights are looking pretty good about now!"


End file.
